GLC

It actually just happened. I took a guy from Oxford St. to Victoria Station. I soon as we got there he jumped off my trike, looked at me at said: "That's sweat on your forehead, right? You are working hard! I want to ask you a favor! Have you got a pen?" Somehow I knew already what was in store.
"You've got no money, right?" "Well, I've got only six pounds for me train home." I was rather upset. "You take a fucking piss!" "Listen! Just write down your phone number for me and I will give you your money tomorrow! I know you work hard!" I looked at him and said: "You are lucky I'm not a nutter cause nothing would actually stop me right now..." "I know! Look..." He took a goldie looking chain off his neck and passed it over to me. "I owe you just a couple of quid. This is worth at least £150! Keep it until I'll pay you!" Being sure that it was but a useless gimcrack I accepted it anyway thinking about my collection of track suits. It rose my spirits somehow. We shook hands. "Don't lose my chain!" He shouted and was gone. I'm wearing it right now. It's heavy. Finally I'm a geezer! LOL

Drowsy

A guy just sat on my trike when I stopped in red light on Oxford Circus. He was shitfaced. "Pall Mall number one!" He ordered. I demanded money upfront. He showed me his debit card. The nearest cashpoint was very close. I stopped over there and asked him to pick up his cash. He didn't move and seemed to fall asleep. I was on a bus stop on Regent St. I didn't want just to kick him out for I was pretty sure he would say I attacked him. I tried to talk to him but he didn't even open his eyes. I saw a police van and tried to wave it down but they ignored me. Finally I caught my rickshaw by handlebar and shook it violently. That impressed him enough to take a look around. I told him quickly that my trike was not a place to sleep and showed him cashpoints nearby. He got off and stayed there. I wasn't disappointed.

Soldier's pride

I started early that day. After a couple of hours I wanted to get a break. There's a 24h Tesco Express by Russel Sq. station. I went there, bought some food and parked around a corner. As I was eating I saw two guys, about forty years old, who were clearly looking for something. I just wanted to eat and rest a bit, so I was hoping they would not see me. They saw me all right. "Mate! How much to take us to a nearest kebab shop?" I explained that they should go either to Leicester Sq. or Kings Cross and that it would cost them £5 per person, either way too. "We give you £15 to take us to Kings Cross and then back to Generator." I politely said that I'd rather stay there and rest. One of them didn't like it at all. "Yesterday we came back from Afghanistan, you know?" "Well, that's your job. And this is my job." "But you are not doing anything at the moment!" "Ok! If you give me some more money, let say £9 each, I'll take you to Kings Cross, wait for you and then take you to your hostel." "No! We can give you only £15!" "Then I will stay here." "We'll give you £8 to take us to Kings Cross then, and later we will take a cab to Generator." I still had a large piece of mozzarella in my hand and its bag wasn't resealable. I quietly said I would do it only for a tenner. Finally he walked off, pretty offended.

One who paid

A very streetwise homeless was trying to sell me three boom stands. I didn't really wanted to buy them and he started a horrible balderdash. I had no idea how to break free. That very moment two young lads asked me to take them to Old St. I demanded money upfront and one of them paid me eagerly. They asked if I wanted to smoke a spliff. I said: "No, thanx."I got them there quickly. They offered me some MDMA on the way but I refused politely. In the roundabout they asked me to carry on, promising me some more money for that. Apparently they were heading to some squat party. Soon they wanted to stop by an offlicense. The other ran to the shop and the one who paid stayed with me. He took out his mobile and said: "I had an I phone and then I lost it and then I had another I phone and I lost it too. Luckily my girlfriend gave me this one! What phone have you got?" "Oh! I've got some shit phone, look!" I showed him my handset. "Hmmm..." He gave it a critical look - "I had even a worse one then this but then my girlfriend gave me that one. I'm sooooo happy she did! I'm losing a phone nearly every week, you know?" He looked around and added: "You know, I think the other guy steals them from me when I'm stoned... I don't trust him!" The other one came out of a shop, on the other side of the road. My interlocutor put index finger on his lips. The other got closer. "For the first time in my life they didn't want to sell alcohol to me! Let's go further down, there's another shop! And please stop by a cashpoint!" His mobile rang. He picked that up and talked shortly. "This phone is a shit!" He concluded. "Probably it was mine ten minutes ago, anyway!" Added the one who paid. The other gave him a funny look. "What are you talking about, man!?" We moved on. We found a hole in a wall. The one who paid stayed with me. He got his mobile out and asked me: "Can you send a multiple message to fifty people at once with your phone?" "Look mate, I don't know! I've never tried... I need my phone to wake me up when I need to and to ring when somebody is calling me...." The other guy was back. "Shiiit!!! I forgot my debit card was fucked! Look, can you pay the man later and also buy some ciders?" He addressed the one who paid before. "I will give you your money back, well my girlfriend will..." We moved on again and stopped by another offlicense. "Do you want anything?" Asked me the one who had no money. I said I was good. "So where are we going now?" "Oh! Take a left here!" Told me the smart one. After a while he decided that we were lost and should get back. "Oh really?" The one who paid was surprised. "Of course!" Smiled the smart one. "You told the man to go left. I thought it was wrong from the beginning but I didn't say anything..." After a while we got to East Rd. I was asked to follow it. Finally they decided that was it. It looked to me like a middle of nowhere but what did I know? I said they should give me £15 more. The one who paid before produced a fiver and some petty change. "Actually I would like to give you this..." "Come on man! Give me at least a tenner!" "Give him a tenner! I'll share it with you later!" Said the smart one. So the other one did. I was pedalling hard, eager to leave those council estates far behind me.

Chat up line

I was going down Regent St. As I was passing by a bus stop I saw two fit lasses sitting there. That very moment a car slowed down on my right and a guy shouted through open window, obviously adressing the girls:
"WOOOOOOOW! You are so fucking sexy!!!"
Not getting much response from them he added:
"Sorry..." and drove off. How desperate one can get?! ;~)

A guy who wanted to help

I was on Regent St. when I spotted a couple. A gorgeous, yet very drunk blond woman leaning against a guy who was trying to make her walk straight. He clearly got enough of it for he stopped me, made her sit on my trike and got in himself. Immediately they were joined by another hot blondie, that one pretty sober, who told me to go to Montague St. That guy looked very contented while sitting between them. He kept wooing the shitfaced one all the time. "So am I sleeping in your bed tonight, darling? I left all my cousins to help you, innit?!" It didn`t take a genius to realise that they were complete strangers and he basically tries to get into her pants. Sadly enough that woman was in a very poor shape. Likely she even passed out. Apparently the other woman was her friend and they stayed in a hotel room together. Suddenly the first one started to throw up. Luckily she managed to vomit outside my vehicle, some of it got on a side of the body though. The rascal seeing that exclaimed: "Don`t worry! I`ll pay you extra! Just stop by a cash point!" He was bullshitting both of them now with a huge amount of stupidities. It was very hard to listen to it.
As soon as I got to a cash point he protested: "No! No! I need Lloyds! I can`t get my cash here!" "Why not?" One of the ladies was surprised. I knew already that he was lying. He asked me to go around to find a Lloyds branch. I said it was a fiver more and went on. Soon he informed me that ladies got money to pay me so we can go directly to their hotel... Nevertheless I had to go in circles and it was his fault. The drunk one`s teeth were rattling. That didn`t stop the scum. "So you`re letting me stay, innit?!" The other woman answered quickly: "What, in our room?! No!" "But she said..." He indicated the drunk one. Apparently she sobered off somewhat. "I didn`t say that!" "Oh, so that`s how women are! I helped you and now..." Women didn`t listen to him, they paid me and walked away. Immediately he tagged along some bypassers and started to bullshit them... I drove off.