Sexual equality

Whether Emily Davison wanted to attach a Women's Social and Political Union's flag to King's horse Anmar, or not, she was very much successful indeed with the bombing of Chancellor of the Exchequer David Lloyd George's house. That woman had balls, no doubt! How exactly did that contribute to a change in social views is not very clear to me. Nevertheless I'm really happy to see women serving in armed forces, police or being fire fighters. I feast my eyes on female politicians and businesswomen. I totally support Topfreedom. Notwithstanding, once I decided to take a leak at that urinal on Cambridge Circus. Unfortunately I wasn't able to empty my bladder in peace. A passing by French girl looked at me and asked: "Don't you think that it's a bit unfair with the ladies?" What did she really mean? Is having a willey something a bit sex-discriminative? I bet that bit could be a good fun indeed!
As my dear friend Uco uses to say: ¿DONDE VAMOS A ACABAR?

What is this?

I saw those four lads on Regent St. First I thought that they were gay. Mainly because one of them, who nota bene had a very conspicuous fake suntan and was wearing quite peculiar track suit, exclaimed seeing me: "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!" "Pecunia non olet!" - I said to myself and asked them if they needed a lift anywhere. One of them got closer and straight away tried to get on my trike. The plastic rain shield worked and he didn't manage to get through. Meanwhile the one who liked me that much was next to me. "You know what you look like?" - he asked jeeringly. Burbling and slurring he compared me to some fucking horse fuck knows where from. Suddenly I got it all very clear. How could I had taken those raving Essex boys for some frisky homosexuals?!? "What is this on your chin?!" - aggressively he pointed out at my goatee. "Your mum's pubic hair!" - I answered somewhat hastily and surprisingly even for myself. Saying that I pressed the pedals. The bastards seethed with anger. One of them tried to grab my trike's canopy the other kicked my rickshaw. I stopped and asked what were they doing. The four bullies closed their ranks and the "sunburnt" call me to "come back here". Three big black guys, waiting on a bus stop nearby started to say something about skinheads. The one wearing tracky announced that I had a very bad breath and therefore should go to brush my teeth. His companions cackled and together off they went.

05:15 AM

That guy stopped me on Shaftesbury Avenue. He said he was from Liverpool. "I want to smash some pussy, bruv!" His nose was pretty deformed. I could see scars on his cheek and forehead. He said he was a man of principles and therefore he wanted to spend on sex maximum £20. By that time all the cheap brothels were already shut. I explained that to him. "Take me to Kings Cross then!" I named the price. He said he'd rather take a minicab but he didn't move. I gave him a better price. He got excited and patting on my canopy exclaimed: "I'll give you ten pounds solid cash! I'm an Arab, bruv! Sumtin' is bettah than nutin'!!!" I laughed and wished him good night. He looked surprised.

Celebrities

One night I started early enough to stop in front of some theater while it was kicking out. I thought I was lucky when a young couple approached me. Much to my surprise as soon as they sat on my trike I got surrounded by a bunch of paparazzi. Flash lamps blazed wildly. My customers didn't seem to mind at all. By the way I had no clue whom they might be... After a little while of striking poses they asked me to move on. The destination was not distant. They didn't ask for a price. I felt curious about how generous those celebs would be. I didn't want to seem greedy though. I decided to give them a reasonable price. Still something in me was expecting a handsome tip. We stopped in front of a popular club in Soho. I asked for £3 per person. That guy put some coins in my hand, thanked me and they were gone quickly. I checked and... It was only five pounds...

Lost

I had a lift to Euston station. As I was about to get back to West End a young Russian lad came to me and said: "Wardour Street, can you do it?! How long?" I told him it would probably take about 10 minutes and he was in. He was in a hurry but still acted very politely. He kept talking with some girl on his phone and soon I realised she was waiting for him somewhere on the street, that's why he was in so much rush. I was pushing on hard. After a while he understood something. "Listen! Where did you pick me up from?" "Euston Station, why?" "You know, I left that club on Wardour Street, in Soho, and I got lost. I walked on and on. I ended up where you picked me up from.. Were I going in circles by any chance?" "Well... Kind of..." - I told him. He asked me to stop by a cash point. He was very grateful and he proved it giving me much more money than I expected. Finally I got him to Wardour Street. The girl waiting for him was very fit. He thanked me again and ran straight to her. It seemed to me that she was slightly annoyed...

Hot cash

A rickshaw stopped in front of me. Two girls jumped off and started to run away without paying the rider. They split and one of them was silly enough to escape my way. I quickly got off my trike, grabbed the wench, lifted her up and carried back. She was very young and cute. The rider who brought them managed to stop the other one. She was a nasty butch dyke. "Let me go! I will pay!" - exclaimed my captive. I lowered her on the ground. She looked at me with admiration: "Wooooow! You are soooo strong!" The other one hearing this gave me a murderous look. "Come here!" The gal took me by my hand and started to push it down her panties. "What the hell are you doing?!!!" - I asked trying to set myself free and nervously looking around. "Oh K'mon!!! I said I was paying! Don't worry! Just put your hand down there..." - she said in such a straightforward manner that I basically followed her instructions. I touched her short cropped pubic her, reached deeper and right by her pussy I found a little wad of notes... "Have you got it? Now give it to me..." - said that Succubus. She paid the man and passed me her phone number, as well. Her lesbian companion was watching me with hate, dangerously close to explode...

Natural perversity of inanimate objects

On Dean St., right by Soho Theater a guy was talking to a cash machine. It lasted a good while. Merciless machine clearly decided that there was no point in condescending and remained silent. Thus ignored man shouted angrily: "Okay then! Keep your fucking money! Can't you spare me even one fucking pound?" Again machine didn't reply.

Theatrical

Around quarter past 4am streets were empty. On my way back to base I followed Shaftesbury Ave until I got to New Oxford St. Then I had to stop in red light. There was a guy standing by and I saw another one approaching, while checking something in his mobile. When the one with mobile got closer the first showed him some leaflet and uttered: "Excuse me sir, have you been to this nightclub?" The other one just ignored him. "Excuse me sir, have you been to this nightclub?" - he repeated intrusively, that leaflet in his extended hand. This time the intruded grabbed leaflet from intruder's palm and slapped him forehand with it. They burst into laughter and walked away together. I laughed as well in appreciation for the show. Suddenly "the intruded" turned round and shouted in my direction: "Is there any kebab shop around here?" "Sure! There's one by Leicester Sq. station!" "AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" - he laughed loudly and pointed me out with his finger - "NICE TRY!!!" Off they went.

Thirteen hundred

A guy approached me on New Oxford Street asking about Holborn tube station. I offered him a lift but he wasn't interested. I gave him directions. "Take care!" - I added. He moved like if he was about to walk away. Suddenly he turned around and said: "Can I tell you a story?" I was all ears.
"I fucked up. On Wednesday I'm flying to Venice with my girlfriend. Yesterday I got paid. I went to casino and I spent all my money there. Thirteen hundred. I don't know what to do now. My girlfriend arrives today. She already exchanged all her money to euros. I was supposed to give her £400... I fucked up mate... I just fucked up big time..." We looked at each other and we laughed. "You know?" - said I - "I write a blog. This is a great story and I'm gonna put it there!" "What you think I should do?" - he asked. "Does your girlfriend know about it?" "Not yet..." "Well then, just laugh now, what else can you do...?" "Well I'm laughing now, but this is real... Tomorrow you will probably read in a newspaper about some guy who jumped off a rooftop and it will be me..." He looked at me with hope - "Would you take me to the station now?"

This is mine! (A true object of desire)

Oxford Street was shut from Oxford Circus up to Marble Arch tube station. As usual some people waited patiently on the bus stops God knows what for. I had learnt long before that trying to persuade them made them haters. I stopped by New Bond Street. I was eating a pret-a-manger sandwich, both triangular pieces at once, for I was hungry and always liked falafel. One of the workers, hanging those winter time embellishments over Oxford Street, approached me and asked where did I get that sandwich from. I told him i brought it with me to work. He smiled with resignation and was gone. Minutes later two guys asked me to take them to Queensway. I named my price and one of them walked away immediately. The other started to haggle, demanding a lower price and... what was left of my sandwich! I gave him both. The first one watched him with astonishment, added that he himself wasn't paying a shit and finally joined him on my trike. They wanted to stop by a cashpoint. So I did. The one with the sandwich asked me to hold it for him for a while, stepped towards the hole-in-the-wall, suddenly turned around and said to his mate that they had to share the fare fifty-fifty. They started to argue and the second guy walked away again, this time for good. The one who said he was actually paying, looked at me and showing sad leftovers of what once was a delicious sandwich uttered: "This is mine!" Grabbed it and followed his mate. I wasn't able to believe it not to mention taking any action at all...