Sunday 11 December 2011

Dinner with Swedish king

Love, love, love! Sudden and unexpected strikes of passion - isn't it what human nature is all about? "Sex and violence" - was the song from The Exploited. The lyric succinctly, however very accurately indeed, describes what humans like to do the most, when off duty. A lot of booze is also (not) to be (v)omitted. When everything goes smoothly enough, there's no need to throw up nor fight. Winner takes all. That may even include a lost, lovely bird willing to spend the rest of the night with you. A hotel room is all you need.
Unfortunately that is the root of all problems. London town is a busy one. No matter day of the week, hotels are always full. A rickshaw rider is very often asked for help. I am never overenthusiastic about this kind of a challenge. It takes ages to find a vacancy and not every customer is generous enough to appreciate your efforts. And as the wind blows emotions grow cold... You not gonna believe it but there are some jokers out there who dare to offer one a "no room - no fare" deal...
Sometimes there's no choice left. Something is better than nothing. It's always a long journey and we talking here about visiting about 15 - 20 hotels minimum. Often a customer believes that he possesses some magic powers and insists on doing the talking himself. That leaves you alone with the pray for a while. One lady once kept assuring me (and probably herself as well) that: "He's not seedy, you know?" As if she knew him forever. But that's exactly how we click, isn't it? The short lasting feeling of "it seems like we've been knowing each other forever" is a key factor.
Another night I met that couple. That guy was Swedish, really cool and well spoken. He informed me right away that in case I find them a room he will get me a dinner with the Swedish king. How could I refuse? It wasn't easy. Journey was long and challenging. I was even stopped by the police who performed some routine check on me. My passenger kept shouting that he will pay all the fines, even though the officers assured him that there were no fines whatsoever. Finally we found a place. Object of his desire had the highest high heels I have ever seen in my life. I'm sure he deserved it. He was a gentleman and he knew well how to prove his appreciation in terms of money. At least that time finding a hotel for my customers was a good fun.

Thursday 1 December 2011

Dickhead

I just came from Beak Street. Right around the corner, on Regent Street, I saw a black cab. A guy with two women were getting on it (one female was already inside). That instant some other, well boozed fellow came quickly towards them. Suddenly I realised that he was some drunk boor, especially when shouting something unintelligible, he strongly pushed the other gent. I heard the other one asking in puzzlement: "Are you serious"? The drunkard started to shout insults and push both the other guy and first woman. Second one emerged from the cab only to be pushed too. It seemed to be a kind of an argument over who was first to flag that taxi down, but cabbie took no parts and was just waiting. I stopped behind the taxi and watched, wandering if that lunatic would really start punching them. The attacker was mad and drunk, red-faced , his eyes frenzied. He was ordering those people to get on that cab and be gone. They kept trying to reason with him for a while, to no effect though. He was constantly threatening them with violence, rising his fists and counting to three. By the way, I doubt he could count any better than that. "GET ON THE FUCKING CAB!!! I'M COUNTING! ONE! TWO! THREE!" Eventually those women persuaded the other fellow to actually leave that place on that cab, immediately. All of the sudden there where just two of us left. As he got closer I looked him in the eyes, smiled and asked quickly: "All right mate?!" "FUCK OFF!" He screamed and walked around my trike. He crossed Regent St and kept going towards Hedon St. There are some cash machines in the corner. I followed him wandering what would happen next. There, by the cash points, stood three smartly dressed gents and a lady. That ruffian approached them briskly. Again fists up, foam at the mouth, counting to three, he pushed one of them, then, repeatedly, another. They were regular people so just asked him to stop it and go away. He wasn't up for it at all. God only knows what would have happened if, suddenly, a police car hadn't arrived. That instant the wolf turned shepherd... As I was about to leave, that bully, smiling innocently, started to talk in a very friendly manner to questioning him police officer. I hope they didn't fall for it...