I came back from work pretty late at night. It was quite cold outside. About zero Celsius is not a usual thing in London. Obviously there was a bunch of fellow riders sitting over there, chilling or rather warming up... Someone told a poor joke about cunnilingus and that, somehow, set L. off. He went on with his story: "I was twenty and I went to visit that girl of sixteen, at her place. There was a lot of licking and sucking going on... What I didn't know was that her father was at home too. At some point I went to the kitchen to get something to drink. To my surprise I stumbled upon her father there.
I was pretty startled. Not only I didn't expect anybody else to be at home, at all, but also as soon as he saw me, the father took a deep breath and stated: "It smells like a pussy here." I just finished eating his daughter's pussy about five minutes earlier, so I really expected him to punch me in the face, next thing. Nothing like that happened though. 'Have a cigarette!' He passed a fag to me and lighted it up for me too." L. face became very serious. "This is how I grew up." He said. "That explains everything!" He added and laughed out loudly.
Sunday 31 March 2013
Friday 1 March 2013
Sarah
Late at night I was trying to get a lift by the corner of Oxford and Soho St. It was somewhat misty. Streets were empty. Suddenly Sarah emerged from the mist, just-like-that pulling a large hoover behind her. "Look! Someone threw away such a great hoover!" For a while we mused at the rare beauty of the device. Then she bid farewell and disappeared in the mist again. I remained there on my rickshaw, like a large spider on a web, wondering if that just really happened...
Sarah is the best rickshaw mechanic in the world. And certainly much more than that! Craig Taylor dedicates her an entire chapter of his book "Londoners: The Days And Nights Of London Now - As Told By Those Who Love It, Hate It, Live It, Left It, And Long For It".
Sarah's incredible personality has been inspiring me for a very long time. She helped me to look at many things from a different angle. After many conversations, that we shared, I dare-say I smartened up a bit... (I'm sure she would just laugh at me, though.) There's that Jewish joke she loves to repeat every now and then, perfectly faking a Jewish accent. It tells a story of an English gentleman who ordered a pair of trousers from a tailor. The garment maker took his measurements and promised his customer to get the trousers ready in a month. After one month, though, when the gentleman visited that needle worker again, the pair of trousers was not ready yet and he was asked to come back ...in a month. The whole situation repeated itself five times more. Finally, half a year after the order was made, gentleman's trousers were ready. He tried them on and they were absolutely perfect! He paid the man, couldn't stop himself, however, from remarking that it took God seven days to create the world whereas it took six months for his trousers to be made. The tailor looked at him seriously and said: "Good Sir! Please take a look at this world and now take a good look at my trousers..."
The other day as soon as we met she announced: "Listen to this! I just saw that documentary! Did you know that the centre of South Pole is not covered with ice? It's just a bare rock, for the constant wind there is so strong that it removes everything in the area and it has been blowing non-stop for quite a while... That space is so unfriendly that there are no big predators in that zone, at all. That's why the penguins chose it as their mating grounds. First they eat as much as they can and then they travel through the frozen hell to reach that empty space in the centre. There the males build a nest to impress the females, for there's no any other use for it... They mate and then a female lays an egg. She passes it to a male and... disappears! Literately leaves him all alone and goes for a greener pastures... Fortunately Mother Nature has an answer to every question. A part of male's belly forms a kind of a pouch and the egg is safely hidden there. He stands there for four months, in a roaring wind, without food, balancing the egg on his feet until it hatches! The crew who filmed the documentary was brought there in a helicopter, and their base was screwed down into the ground. That was the only way the wind wouldn't take it away. The environment was so unfriendly, that they were scared to leave their shelter at all. They were very well equipped, of course, with all their bodies covered, wearing goggles etc... Nevertheless they only dreamed about getting done with their research and leaving... Who would think that a penguin is such a geezer?! He must be something like Polish people, who through the centuries simply focused on survival at the price of nearly completely losing their humanity, not to mention a sense of humour of any kind..." A Pole myself, I had to admit that, so far, I hadn't been appreciating that elegant bird well enough :P
Sarah is the best rickshaw mechanic in the world. And certainly much more than that! Craig Taylor dedicates her an entire chapter of his book "Londoners: The Days And Nights Of London Now - As Told By Those Who Love It, Hate It, Live It, Left It, And Long For It".
Sarah's incredible personality has been inspiring me for a very long time. She helped me to look at many things from a different angle. After many conversations, that we shared, I dare-say I smartened up a bit... (I'm sure she would just laugh at me, though.) There's that Jewish joke she loves to repeat every now and then, perfectly faking a Jewish accent. It tells a story of an English gentleman who ordered a pair of trousers from a tailor. The garment maker took his measurements and promised his customer to get the trousers ready in a month. After one month, though, when the gentleman visited that needle worker again, the pair of trousers was not ready yet and he was asked to come back ...in a month. The whole situation repeated itself five times more. Finally, half a year after the order was made, gentleman's trousers were ready. He tried them on and they were absolutely perfect! He paid the man, couldn't stop himself, however, from remarking that it took God seven days to create the world whereas it took six months for his trousers to be made. The tailor looked at him seriously and said: "Good Sir! Please take a look at this world and now take a good look at my trousers..."
The other day as soon as we met she announced: "Listen to this! I just saw that documentary! Did you know that the centre of South Pole is not covered with ice? It's just a bare rock, for the constant wind there is so strong that it removes everything in the area and it has been blowing non-stop for quite a while... That space is so unfriendly that there are no big predators in that zone, at all. That's why the penguins chose it as their mating grounds. First they eat as much as they can and then they travel through the frozen hell to reach that empty space in the centre. There the males build a nest to impress the females, for there's no any other use for it... They mate and then a female lays an egg. She passes it to a male and... disappears! Literately leaves him all alone and goes for a greener pastures... Fortunately Mother Nature has an answer to every question. A part of male's belly forms a kind of a pouch and the egg is safely hidden there. He stands there for four months, in a roaring wind, without food, balancing the egg on his feet until it hatches! The crew who filmed the documentary was brought there in a helicopter, and their base was screwed down into the ground. That was the only way the wind wouldn't take it away. The environment was so unfriendly, that they were scared to leave their shelter at all. They were very well equipped, of course, with all their bodies covered, wearing goggles etc... Nevertheless they only dreamed about getting done with their research and leaving... Who would think that a penguin is such a geezer?! He must be something like Polish people, who through the centuries simply focused on survival at the price of nearly completely losing their humanity, not to mention a sense of humour of any kind..." A Pole myself, I had to admit that, so far, I hadn't been appreciating that elegant bird well enough :P
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