Jon is hot

I came out pretty late. It didn`t escape ever vigilant Amir`s notice. "Oh! You coming out THAT late again!" I quickly introduced him to people around as a true champion. He told me to shut up and was gone. Shortly afterwards I met Monty. He was as usual in trouble. A guy from a corner shop didn`t want to exchange his drink for another one, once he purchased it. That made him quite unhappy and of course he managed to get his money back but the guy told him "don`t buy here". He was thirsty though, so he gave me some change and asked me to buy that other drink for him... On Old Compton St. Hugo was, as always, fighting with preponderant forces of hustlers. He knocked flat one of them and escaped quickly. They ran after him yelling: "Smash him!" Police showed up as soon as they disappeared. A little while later one guy offered me money to have sex with him. I did my best to answer him politely. He rose to the occasion and said that as a matter of fact he just wanted to pay for a lift. In any case he didn`t. On Charring + Rd I saw a young, shitfaced lad lifting up vigorously quite a big girl. That attempted tour de force didn`t quite work. Immediately he lost his balance, fell on his back and she landed on top of him flashing her white panties. I couldn`t stop myself from laughing loudly. "What are you laughing at?!!!" I heard his drunk and angry voice from underneath her :D
I kept cruising around eating banana. A girl approached me. "Are you eating a banana?! Unbelievable! When I cycle I can never focus on anything else than cycling itself!!!" "Rickshaw has three wheels. That makes it much easier, you know?" "I am so stupid!" She suddenly exclaimed. "Why?" "I kissed my best friend and I know he fancies me! We we`ve been together to the concert of Bon Jovi. (Jon is sooooo hot!!! Don`t you think so?! Oh! It`s just out of question - he`s sooooo hot!!!) And that friend of mine wanted to kiss me and I let him!" "Did you kiss with tongues?" "YES!" "Did you enjoy it?" "Yes!" "Then what`s wrong about it?" "I don`t know... I just do so many stupid things recently..." "So who else did you kiss lately?" "Erm... No one... Well... My friend`s boss. I was pissed though. And he split with his girlfriend... but now they are back together..." I was hundred percent sure I didn`t want to kiss her. Finely she was gone to catch her bus...
My last lift was with two young bitches who kept arguing all the time. "I paid the drinks! You have to pay the man!" "K`mon I paid the entrance fee!" "And last week it was me who was paying!" "It`s the last time I go out with you!" "Don`t make a scene!" And so on, or even worse, no end! Three "holes in a wall" didn`t work. The fourth one saved me. I felt very relieved when it was over.
Was all that really full moon`s fault?