Wifey

That night was very quiet. I just got into Regent St. from Oxford Circus. Before I went as far as Great Marlborough St. I was stopped by an Asian woman in her mid forties. She asked me about Blues Bar. I said I could take her there but she preferred to walk. She added her husband was a musician and he was performing there that night. She also told me, that she was quite worried as she couldn´t get in touch with him. Apparently his mobile wasn´t working. I tried to explain to her where that venue was but she couldn´t quite grasp it. I got no lifts at all in a good while. I was quite bored and cold and I wasn´t making money anyway. I decided to take her there for free. By the way it was just around the corner. We got there in no time. The bar was already shut. I saw light inside and I knocked at the window. A member of stuff was still there. That lady asked him about her husband explaining the whole situation. The guy gave her a funny look. He said her husband played there indeed but was gone already about an hour ago. He looked at her with kind of a pity. Something told me that he wasn´t telling her the entire truth... Woman looked really worried. I felt sorry for her too. I could imagine that her bastard husband was taking advantages after his concert, leaving her on her own like that... She asked me if I knew where St. Giles Hotel was. I said I was taking her to her hotel, no charge. She protested and gave me 20 euros. When we got to St.Giles she was very sad. She thanked me and said: "I hope my husband is already in our room..." I wished her that solemnly, thinking how unlikely it was...

Tony's story about legs

A fellow rider, Bohemian from Brasil named Tony' told me this story. One night he was approached by two gents and asked for a lift. One of them had a cast on his leg. Having a leg in a cast doesn't diminish your weight though. Tony gave them a regular price. They didn't like too much. The one without the cast started to complain. "Look" - he said - "Me and my friend we've got serious problems with our legs and you don't seem at all considerate!" The rider looked at him in amazement and said: "Sorry sir, but you seem to be just fine!" "Hmm... You really think so, son?" Guy pulled up one of his trouser-legs exposing an artificial limb. Tony, feeling remorseful, gave them a discount...

A perfect worker

I started quite early that night. Getting through Oxford St. I saw that guy, just standing on the corner with Dean St. which was shut to the traffic on that end, due to constructing new Tottenham Court Rd. tube station. So he was basically standing alone, black clad and by the way rather smartly dressed. I stopped and asked whether he was looking for any place to have a drink at or if he needed any directions etc. He said he was good and I just moved on. I recall seeing him standing there once o twice more as I kept going in circles. Nevertheless I was really surprised to see him there still, several hours later. It was around 4am. The streets were already pretty empty and I simply couldn't believe my eyes. I stopped there again and exclaimed: "Unbelievable! You've been standing here all night!" He smiled shyly and protested weakly. "Come on! I've seen you!" I didn't give up. "Are you lost or something? Feeling unhappy?" "No!" He laughed and show me the nearby construction site with his hand. "I work for them..." We wished each other a good night and I moved on, laughing to myself like a village idiot.

Give me all that change!

That night was very quiet. It was the reason why I agreed to take those young couple from Oxford Circus to Hilton on Park Lane so cheaply. Those guys were in their early twenties and seemed nice and friendly. As I was about to start that lift some frustrated black cab driver, clearly with no social life, nearly run us over, his engine yelling, his face screwing up fiercely. Notwithstading I got to Maddox Street, then to Grosvenor Sq. I passed through Park Lane and as I approached Hilton hotel they told me to carry on into those tiny lanes placed between Curzon St. and Piccadilly. A few moments later we stopped in front of a splendid building. It had a cosy reception on its ground floor. The boy and the girl got off my trike. He produced a handsome wad of cash, handed one note to me and demanded a fiver change. I realised that I only had about two pounds change on me. Not even two one pound coins... One 50p and a lot of a petty change... I felt like an idiot so I moved towards the entrance saying that I could surely change that note in the reception. "This is not a hotel!" - said that girl as she gave me a harsh look - "THIS IS OUR APARTMENT!" "I'm really sorry guys, but apparently I've got only around two pounds change.." "How much?" The guy was watching me leerily. "Have you got a five pounds note?" - asked the girl. "Look guys - maybe there's an open shop around. I'll take you there for free and we'll change the money..." "It's too late! Everything is already shut." - answered that guy gravely. "Have you got a five pounds note?"- repeated the girl like a parrot. "I told you I didn't..." I held all my change in my hand. Boy gave me an angry look and ordered: "Give me all that change!" He caught it, turned his back on me and they walked off very offended.

Good listener

I was on Regent St. A guy approached me and said: "Bruv! Give me a free lift to Piccadilly Circus! I'm homeless and I've got foot infection! That's why I'm not comfortable to walk!" I recognised him straight away. "You know, last time I saw you, you were a lost and robbed student from ... As for the infection I'm recommending you that athlete foot powder, you can buy it pretty cheap in Tesco!" "I'm telling the truth! I used to study in ... but now I've been homeless for two weeks... It's not my fault you see.. The infection is a result of having my shoes on all the time..." His speech was very convincing and his slightly stoned eyes shone with intelligence. "Nobody can be homeless unless he wants it. You are young, you are not stupid, you've got hands and legs..." "I know! Forget the lift! I just want to talk to you for a while." I was cycling slowly down the road and he kept walking next to me on the pavement. "I'll tell you the truth! I used to live in London before, for about twelve years. I got connected with some dangerous people. You know: plastic cards fraud, drugs etc. I was doing things for them across UK. Finally I wanted to quit. The thing is though, that such a thing is not possible. They always come back to you and you can't refuse them. You know too much about their business. If they get in any trouble with the Police, knowing that you are quitting they would think you grassed up on them and they will eliminate you. I was determined to separate from them. I wanted to study. I finished some collage. My grades weren't that good, but I managed to enroll in University of... I come from a wealthy family. Back home my father has three houses and a store in a big shopping center. All that is rented. Since I open my eyes for the thirst time I always had anything I wanted." I stopped now in the beginning of Brewer St. "Don't get upset!" He asked me. "I just want to tell you all this for I haven't spoken with anybody for a while and you are a good listener... I was studying in ... for five years. Finally my grandma died and I started to do drugs again. Hard drugs. You know what is a Speedball? I was injecting as well... Before, in London I managed to hide all that shit I was doing from my mom. She didn't know anything. In ... I lost control. I dropped from university. Finally I overdosed and was in hospital in coma for three days. When I woke up I saw my mom by my bed crying. She just couldn't understand how come things turned up this way. I promised her it won't happen again. I got back to university. I kept doing drugs though. I also spent money on girls etc. I dropped from university again. Now all the profit my father was making back home was split between me and my brother. It was good money but we kept asking for more and more. Finally my mother lost her patience. She said that the amount they send us monthly was enough to provide for 6 - 7 people back home. I decided to be self-dependent. My mom has a three bedroom house in London in a decent area. I came back to London but I was too proud to stay with her. I wanted to make my own living. Through some family connections I got a job. I checked adverts in a few offlicences and I found a very cheap one bedroom flat, not far from my mom's place. I thought it was a mistake for the price was only a £100 per week. I called that number and I got an appointment with that guy. I arrived to that address and the guy was waiting for me. He had a fat BMW and wore an expensive looking suit. He showed me that flat. It was small but newly refurbished and clean. I said to him that for sure there was a mistake about price and he answered that the price was correct. We filled in tenancy agreement, checked all the meters and called all the suppliers to give them my details. I owed him £800 - £400 for the first month and £400 as a deposit. I needed to extend my overdraft limit to get that much but my bank agreed to it. I thought I was sorted. I went to work, came back home, cooked something, went to sleep. Next day I went to work again, when I came back home there was some guy in there. He saw me and asked: 'Who the fuck are you?!' 'I'm the tenant, who the fuck are you?!' 'I'm the landlord!' 'No you are not!' We went to a Police station. Apparently that crook came to the true tenant, with his expensive looking suit on and driving his fat BMW. He wanted to rent that flat but he said he was in trouble. He took that landlord to a hole-in-a-wall and showed him seven grand in his account. Than he presented him a fake letter with Metropolitan Police logo on it, saying that his account was frozen due to him receiving a big transfer from abroad. It seemed like he was a victim of some anti money laundering procedure. The landlord believed him and gave him two weeks to sort that out and to catch up with the rent.
The cheat was already known in the area. Someone even got his number plate details but car turned out to be rented. I had no place to go so I slept in a park that night. When I woke up my golden chain, my watch, my I Phone and £90 from my wallet were all gone. I tried to get a benefit but I missed an appointment - I got there only seven minutes late! So here I am. Only my brother knows about it. My mom thinks I'm in ... She's abroad now, visiting her sister. I told you she had that three bedroom flat in London. I've got a key to it. I go there twice a week just to take a shower. I went to see a doctor and I got registered as a drug addict. He said my addiction was very light. I got a methadone prescription. Only 20 mil daily. It's all right. When I need money I just beg. Yesterday in six hours I made £180! I spent all that on drugs and girls... I'm here, you see, just to get out of it. Drugs keep me warm and make me feel good on the street, time is passing faster." I moved on and he kept walking by my side. Finally I saw some guys and went to ask if they were looking for anything. Minutes after I spotted him walking down the road with another crackhead.

Honest man

It was after 3am. I was hanging around Soho as usual. It was a weekday night and at that time everything was already very quiet. Too quiet. On Wardour St. I spotted a streetwalker talking to some guys. They exchanged a few words with her and went on. There were two of them. I approached them and asked if they looked for anything. They said that a nice place to have drink would do. After 3am nearly everything was already shut. I told them that and added that they got two options left over. A stripbar or that club on South Central St. - The Den. One of them, an American judging by his accent, started some peculiar talk about how a combination of tits, pussy and anus would successfully replace a woman as such. He declared he would like to create a sculpture like that. His friend, a posh English boyo, wasn´t too happy to pay an entrance fee to get into a stripclub. They just stood there yattering. Suddenly some guy looked through a widow on first floor of a building near by. Checked us out, waved and disappeared behind a curtain. "Hey dude!" - American wanted to socialise - "don´t go!" "Why does he leave the windows open anyway? It´s cold!" - He wondered loudly. I advised him to stop it before they start to throw things at us. Then some other guy approached. He said he was from ..., he was robbed, and he was a student, he presented some IDs and obviously asked for some spare change. They refused him politely. The gringo finally made up his mind. "K´mon!" he addressed his friend - "Let´s get on that thing and let´s see where it will take us!¨ Dandy reluctantly got on my trike and uttered:

"Now take us somewhere we can have fun and if you don´t we´ll beat shit out of you!" Very quickly I got off and faced him. "Ok! You better beat me now!" The American guy got pretty scared. "Let´s just get off!" - he said to the other. Boyo answered that he was joking. I told him not to talk to me like that. He apologised and then he added that he even used to ride "one of these things" once himself, for about half an hour.Finally we moved on. By Oxford Street they asked me how much was the lift. I said I wasn't charging them yet and asked which one of those two mentioned places they preferred. They chose The Den. On the way they went on how guilty they felt about me pedalling while they remained seated and how much they appreciated that. After a little while we got there. Boyo passed me a can of beer. I said I would prefer a fiver per person than a beer. He produced a tenner from his wallet, hesitated and said it was outrageous. I asked what he meant. He said he got an impression that the lift was for free and that me myself had said that. I asked him what was his occupation. He said he was a programmer. I inquired if he ever enjoyed doing his job for free. He answered that I was wasting his time. Some people gathered up around us watching the scene with curiosity. I told him he was a bloody cheat but nevertheless, I added, I wasn't desperate. If he thought it was all right then he should just fuck off. He started to walk off eagerly calling his American friend to follow. Now I must admit the other guy didn't like it. He wanted to pay me. Unfortunately he had only a fiver on him. He tried to give it to me. "Yeah! Take a fiver!" - agreed the tight programmer. I said that I wasn't asking for a change and offered him a free lift to a cashpoint. Finally he followed his dickhead friend. "Be careful! He will fuck you up as well, soon!" - I said to him. "I'm an honest man!" - protested the boyo loudly. Off they went.