Sunday 22 May 2011

Jacuzzi Jet

On that night somebody got killed on Regent St. Judging by the number of tents set up on pavement and partly on the road (I guess over the dead bodies) even two people... My problem, though, was of a different nature. I got a puncture that I just wasn't able to fix. It took me two hours in pouring rain before I was able to drive away. I went around hunting for a lift and just couldn't get anything at all. As usual I didn't want to give up. I carried on and on in circles. On Oxford St., just by Oxford Circus I saw F. talking to someone. I waved at him and went on. As I approached those spooky tents, being guarded by three or four police officers on Regent St, something very strange happened. I heard a loud explosion. It sounded like a shot. Alarmed cops looked out from between the tents. I felt my trike slowing down. I got no doubt. My wheel just burst... Boys in blue realised what happened, sneered and disappeared. I squatted by my trike to examine the damage. It was serious. Not just the inner tube exploded, the tire was torn out too... God knows why... There was nothing I could do. To push it back, walking, all the way back to base, was the only option. Then F. suddenly appeared, just like a guarding angel! He saw me and stopped by. "I felt something happened to you!" He looked around. "Somebody got killed, eh?" We set my trike's front wheel over the back of his rickshaw. He sat down on the passenger's seat and I started to tow my poor, punctured baby. Policemen watched us curiously as we entered Great Marlborough St. "You know, I visited that sauna again." - Started F. seated comfortably. It was a way better than walking but still quite hard. "First that woman was wanking me in jacuzzi..." His saddle was much too low for me. "...and then I asked her: Do you want to go to a private room?" Also his rickshaw wasn't the smoothest going machine I had ever tried. "And she says: I'm ready to do this right here, right now!" No doubt, I could gain some momentum by lifting up the saddle. Unfortunately... "So, as I was fucking her..." ...it seemed to be fixed permanently. "...a jet was massaging my balls. It was NICE!"

2 comments:

  1. This has got to be one of the weirdest things I've read about Jacuzzis and jetted bathtubs up until now but then, it's a bit funny 'cause it's true.

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