Sunday 17 February 2013

Probably illegal substance

"Stop!" Some fellow flagged me down right next to Center Point. As I soon realised he was accompanied by about 6 other people. They looked Arabic, spoke with American accent and mixed English with some, probably, Arabic words. The guy who stopped me was already sitting on my trike, consuming some white powder from a little plastic bag. His friends also seemed to be a bit... confused. They asked me about B.L.C. (British Luxury Club). They were, obviously, too many for me to take them there all at once. It wasn't a big problem, for they were very indecisive... One of them, a fit looking girl, wanted a cab, each of the guys started to talk about something else, somebody was complaining that it was too cold to take a rickshaw, somebody else asked about BLC's address, the chap on my rickshaw was seriously busy taking his, probably illegal, substance... For a moment I was sure that he actually stopped me just to lick his plastic bag clean, out the public sight... Suddenly, though, another fellow with a serious, Muslim style, kind of reddish-dyed beard grasped quickly my goatee exclaiming: "I love your chin-chin!" Him and that girl joined the dude sitting on my trike and asked me to go to BLC. There were two sets of lights between me and our destination. I had to stop twice, as each of them turned maliciously red. The bag-licker kept enthusiastically slapping my bum. I said to him that it was gay and demanded him to stop. His friends were very apologetic and tried to stop him too but the fellow had been in a serious state and couldn't get easily persuaded... I decided to add it to the bill. Even though BLC is not far from Center Point, as soon as we got next to it my customers told me they needed a cash-point... I carried on and found one a bit further down, where New Oxford Street forks with Bloomsbury Way. The bag-licker got off, slapped my bum passing me by, stopped in front of the cash-machine and talked to it for a long while. In the meantime his bearded friend apologised to me for him, asked if I was surely all-right, assured me that us, the bearded men, should stick together and invited me to share some powder with him and the lady. I refused politely. The chap by the ATM kept talking to it, then decided to take a leak in a doorway right by. Next he started to talk to it again. I couldn't see any cash coming out of it, though... Finally the bearded guy got off too, tried to take some cash himself and found out that the hole-in-the-wall was actually out of order. The bag-licker told him to relax and was about to start talking to that cash-machine again. The bearded got upset and pushed him towards my trike telling him to get on it. The girl also got off, went to the cash-machine, tried to take some dosh herself, only to confirm that the actual machine was clearly out of order... I asked them all to sit down, to take them to another one. The lads were very close to fight each other. The lady got back on the rickshaw, the bag-licker was telling loudly the bearded to relax, fortunately the bearded told his friend how much he really loved him and also sat down on my trike. The bag-licker kept telling everybody to relax, however didn't want to come back on the rickshaw, for he was convinced that the ATM took his card... Personally I didn't even think he had ever put it in there, in first place. The bearded started to yell at him that it was absolutely impossible and that he had better check his pockets. Finally I got all of them back and moved on to the corner of Bloomsbury Way and Southampton Row, to another cash point. The girl took some money out. They kept snorting as I brought them to BLC. The chaps just got off and moved away, paying no heed to me whatsoever. The girl payed me the fare. I extended my hand to help her to get off the rickshaw. She took it, thanked me politely and, as she was pulling herself out of the pedicab, she squeezed my hand gently three - four times, in a quick sequence. To be honest, that was the most pleasant part of that job...

Tuesday 12 February 2013

Golden Apple of Discord

To watch humanity is my little game. We the People are predictably vain and selfish. Anything could become the Golden Apple of Discord. One night, me and a fellow rider Julian P., we stopped in front of that NCP car park on the corner of Lexington and Brewer St. in Soho. A young couple was passing by. She was one of those ladies who imprudently wear a very high heels and then you can see them stumbling around like disabled (if you have a disability, please, turn a blind eye at this metaphor) up to about 3 am. Later, fed up and shitfaced, off they go shamelessly bare-feet, holding tight their stilettos. The couple saw our rickshaws and brazenly asked for a free lift. As it wasn't happening for the first time, I quickly rose to the occasion and, innocently, asked them where were they going. As usual, it apparently was "just to that corner there". Hearing that I offered them a lift for a fiver. They said it was too much or that they didn't have any cash on them... "I see." I played along. "If so, I can give a free lift to the lady here but you, sir," - I addressed the fellow - "will have to walk." She was delighted and immediately moved towards my rickshaw when he literately pulled her away and moved on. "What are you doing?" She squeaked defiantly. "Are you looking for an argument?" He answered boldly and kept pulling her away. Struggling on her high heels she followed clumsily. Eris the Greek goddess of chaos, strife and discord laughed loudly in my ear. ^_^


Eris by telthona1