Business advisor

I was slowly following Oxford Street towards Oxford Circus. On my left there was some totally smashed fellow, desperately leaning against a lamp post. A few steps from him stood three lost looking girls, clearly not able to make heads or tails of their whereabouts. I stopped and asked if they needed directions. As obviously it was the case I explain to them the way they should follow. They asked me then how much would I charge to take them there. Unfortunately they found my price too dear. I decided that it was no worthy of further haggling and moved on. At that point the boozy looked at me and slurred: "You should change your approach toward customer. You are too desperate!" For a little while I felt completely overwhelmed by his drunken master style. I put myself together though, searched for opponent's weak points and made a quick riposte: "You are too drunk! Sober off and then you will advise me!" I must had found his Achilles heel cause as I was pedalling away, for a long while, I could hear him shouting something about fucking off.

Paris of Troy

I got a lift to King's Cross with two German girls. On Judd St, not far from Russel Sq. I was passing by three boozy fellows walking the same direction as me. Going at easy pace I could hear one of them saying in a deep, theatrical voice: "My father says I'm stupid but, you know, I feel so sad every time when I wait for her all night before she comes back home..." Soon I overtook them and went on. I got to King's Cross station. The ladies paid the fare, thanked me politely and were gone. On the way back I saw those three chaps again. Same guy, raising his beautiful, deep voice dramatically, carried on with his story: "..SHE WENT TO PARIS WITH ANOTHER DUDE!!!" His two companions watched him gravely.

Father Christmas

Why people who go out for a drink in December eagerly wear Father Christmas's suits?!? In any case I met one of those last night on Oxford St. He was quite drunk and looked lost. I asked him if he needed directions. "Thank you mate!" - he replied politely - "I know very well where I am. I do appreciate what you do! I don't think you can help me but I'll give you a story." I was all ears :)
"Look at this building! I've got to buy it within a few days..." "Really?! What you gonna do with it?"
"I'll smash it and then I'll rebuild it. The problem is that property behind it... I've been working on it during last five days... " He looked ridiculous in his red suit. He was pretty boozy and the whole situation was hmmm... surreal. Nevertheless I tended to believe that he was genuine. Finally he shook my hand and disappeared in depths of night...