A gay joke

They say that, in the eighties, Soho of London used to be a very dangerous place. There are urban legends about crazy people with guns and shit. Nowadays, though, Soho is practically, exclusively gay. Cheap prostitutes, some dodgy peep shows and wasted crack-heads is all that remains of crazier times. Not even a decent strip club is left in the heart of Soho. Therefore majority of the stories related to Soho has that peculiar flavour... Once (it happened a few years ago) I was going up Old Compton Street. It was a warm, weekend night in summer. The street was very busy. As usual a relaxed crowd marched in front of me and around me. Encircled by all those people I rode slowly, shouting polite warnings and honking my trike's horn. There was a bunch of gay men walking slowly right in front of my trike. I stood no chance to overtake them, had to squeeze through, somehow. I asked them politely to let me get through. One of them, a chubby fellow, looked back at me and ordered: "Go on! I'll take it all in!"

A persistent gay demon

One sunny afternoon I was in the corner of Long Acre St. and Drury Lane. People kept passing by indifferently. "Will you take me to Soho?" I looked up. There was a guy next to me. He was gay. And he was drunk. "I've seen those people giving you funny looks but I respect you!" He sat on my trike. "Look at me! I'm not as good as you, but trust me, I'm a demon!" I sighed. I needed a lift. I named a price and he showed me cash. On I went. "Stop! Stop!" He shouted as soon as we got to that pub in the corner of Neal St. and Shelton St. "Tell me what would you like?" He asked. I gave him a questioning look. He carried on: "A pair of jeans? Any other clothes from those shops around? I can get you anything!" "That's very kind of you, however, I basically want to get you to Soho and to charge you for the lift..." He paid me the fare right away and that time I managed to reach Wardour St. before he stopped me again. "I just came from Spain. I've got three businesses there. I'm half Spanish." He announced in his very thick London accent. "Are you half Spanish? Do you speak the language?" "Sure!" "Pues habla conmigo!" The gay demon got quite confused and decided it was about time to change the subject. "Listen!" He went on. "I worked very hard lately, just want to relax. Could you take me to any good brothel?" "Definitely! Let's go!" I moved on but very soon he wanted to stop again, that time in front of GAY Cafe. "So how much money do you want?" I looked at him in puzzlement. "You already paid me. If you want to go to that brothel I'll charge you that much when we get there." "I think I'll stay here. Come for a drink with me." "I can't drink now. I'm driving" "Come for a cake and a coffee " "Thanks but I'd rather be working now." "I see. Take my phone number." I did, just to get rid of him. "Now give me a missed call." "I'm Pay As You Go and out of credit" "Call me tomorrow then! I'm having a big party. You could earn a couple of hundred pounds!" "What a nons!" I thought and deleted his number as soon as I got around the corner.

Foot fetish

A fellow rider took his customer to a decent hotel. It was clear from the very beginning that the guy was gay. On the way he said to that rickshaw rider that he liked his feet. Upon their arrival to hotel customer paid the man and then presented him his very special offer. He said he would give him eight hundred quid if he let him lick his feet. When rider wasn`t very enthusiastic about it, the poor guy suggested another option. He wrote his phone number and e-mail adress on a twenty pound note and said he hoped that the fellow would make up his mind. In any case he gave him one hundred and fifty pounds asking for an email with three pics of his bare feet. Driver pocketed the money and said that possibly they could make another deal. The perv was all ears. "I can sell you my sox!" "For how much?" "Two hundred each!" "Hmmm... That`s expensive." Nevertheless he just couldn`t stop himself... Honestly, wasn`t it an advantageous purchase?!