Olympics

Superman Alex also known as Alex The Cindy said he read my blog recently. He told me he liked it but it seemed to him that I lost interest in writing: "You are slacking off! There are so many things to write about, Olympic games for instance." It's hard to write about something that doesn't happen though or, in other words, it's simply no fun to write about a disappointment. Anja Gottschalk, a rider with most likely best looking bottom in the world, said a few days ago, interviewed by Evening Standard: "...Everyone has been scared off coming into the centre by all the warnings about public transport, car parking and the greedy hotels putting their rates up three or four times." Anja is absolutely right on this one. Streets of Soho are empty and whoever expected a financial boom is a doomed dreamer. Sad news is that on top of that Anja got arrested (her rickshaw got impounded) for stopping on double yellow line for a minute... Alex The Cindy, her beau, avoided detention calling his mom, who confirmed his address... Police doesn't get tough only on rickshaw riders. Critical Mass was cut short by Mets and 182 people got arrested too, for maybe protesting the Olympics: http://www.care2.com/causes/182-cyclists-arrested-for-maybe-protesting-the-olympics.html#ixzz22DhUjIUi. Clearly Olympics brought rather general tension than expected prosperity. People keep talking about a nuclear doom and UFOs over London. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1262668/Olympic-Armageddon-Top-thriller-writer-imagines-terrorist-attack-London-2012-Games.html
This video, fortunately, has less than 8000 spins.

Let's be honest! UFO strikes ruthlessly, no doubt! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2181066/Olympics-2012-UFO-sighted-Games-opening-ceremony.html.
The harsh reality, though,  remains unaltered. UFO or not people get same drunk and messy.
One of these days I met an American by Leicester Square tube station. He had that face of a liquor soaked alcoholic. "I lost my partner and I lost a thousand pounds!" - He informed me. "You probably got robbed." - I suggested. ""I'm quite good at it." - He answered somewhat mysteriously. After a while his expression changed. "YES! I GOT ROBBED!" - He got all passionate - "THEY SAW I WAS DOING WELL AND THEY ROBBED ME!" Casinos are surely dangerous places, aren't they? And here was a truly Olympic deal for me. "I need to go to Lancaster Gate!" - He stated. I had nothing better to do. "I'll take you there for twenty quid." He gave me a chagrined smile. "So you've got no money?" - I guessed. "It's not this... I've got thousands of dollars... However I've got only about seven pounds on me... I'll give you the rest when we get to my hotel." It was late so I decided to give it a try. On the way he seemed to be pretty vexed. I heard him saying to himself: "How am I gonna explain this to my partner?!" As we arrived he handed his passport out to me and asked to wait a minute. He had many stamps from Paris, Amsterdam and States there. Soon he was back carrying a mug full of coins... We counted pounds and pennies until we reached twenty, not even a pence more. He took back his document saying: "This passport equals a loser!" and was gone.
About two days later I saw an interesting situation on Charring Cross Road. You know, them hustlers, they have that peculiar quality. Any time they see an attractive girl they absolutely have to have a go at her. An average "bad boy" usually stops in front of a girl spreading his arms, waiting until she literately steps on him and then he attempts to give her a hug. Another popular technique is to grab a passing-by girl's arm in attempt to stop her, talking some bullshit simultaneously. They usually call a girl "Sexy" or "Princes" and soon enough offer their company, ask for her number, invite for a drink etc. I don't need to explain how very much welcome is that kind of intrusion. That night I saw one fellow pinching a random girl on a cheek, calling her a "cutie" or something. Let me tell you - she didn't like it! She was pretty small and he was quite a big guy. Nevertheless she pushed him away immediately, screaming: "Don't touch me!" She started to punch that hustler's face. She really could punch! I could tell he would love to beat her back, but all eyes were on him. He had to simply take it, begging her to stop. People around watched with satisfaction. I hope he learnt a lesson.
...and by the way: the Olympics are FULLY ON!!!

Toy boy

Late at night Leicester Square area is full of interesting and exotic individuals. As the night grows elder every hustler starts to feel lonely. Time comes to look for some squeeze. Apparently no chat up line is too bad when a pair of tits is at stake. Wolf packs of hustlers persistently chase flocks of lasses. Winner of another night was definitely a teenage boy showing off his ripped abdomen to some girls walking on the other side of Coventry St. "Princess! Hey! Princes!" Girls didn't seem to be impressed. "Princess why don't you take me home?!" Girls were clearly all about going away. The young wooer though, wasn't about to give up. Pulling his shirt even higher shouted: "I could be you toy boy! Look! Look! I could be your toy boy!"

4 am

It was 4 am. I sat down on my trike in front of Little Italia and Bar Italia on Frith St. Little Italia was already empty. Lights inside were on. Two posh vamps in their forties stood outside smoking ciggies while luringly exposing plunging necklines. Bouncers, minicab drivers and everyone else, except for two gents silently maintaining embrionyc positions on the pavement a bit further on the left, were very excited. Those two didn`t seem to care much. They kept laying quietly in pools of their own urine. Bouncers managed to wake up one of them. He stood up, took a few tottery steps and collapsed again. Suddenly a rickshaw full of people stopped by Bar Italia and three hustlers jumped off straight on the pavement, like a bunch of ogres from Warcraft II during a beach landing.
They saw women and immediately moved towards them. However, before the intruders stood a chance to open their mouths one of the women said quickly amd loudly: "No, no no guys! You`re not buying us anything, selling us anything or anything else!" Chaps didn`t expect that warm a welcome, therefore weren`t too loquacious. "Okay!" - ordered the lady - "just tell us, everyone in turns, what is that you want. You first!" The chosen one started to mumble something about champagne, himself being that many years old and alike rubbish. The second one talked only rubbish. The third one remained silent. A bouncer said something to them in a low voice and I saw them leaving the stage. Next entered an ambulance. The crew woke up one of the drunks and somehow made him throw up. Clearly that made him good! The second one was put on a stretcher and taken inside emergency vehicle. Soon they carried him away. "Mamma mia!" - exclaimed a waiter wachting the whole process. Women got in a car. Burlesque was over.

Jon is hot

I came out pretty late. It didn`t escape ever vigilant Amir`s notice. "Oh! You coming out THAT late again!" I quickly introduced him to people around as a true champion. He told me to shut up and was gone. Shortly afterwards I met Monty. He was as usual in trouble. A guy from a corner shop didn`t want to exchange his drink for another one, once he purchased it. That made him quite unhappy and of course he managed to get his money back but the guy told him "don`t buy here". He was thirsty though, so he gave me some change and asked me to buy that other drink for him... On Old Compton St. Hugo was, as always, fighting with preponderant forces of hustlers. He knocked flat one of them and escaped quickly. They ran after him yelling: "Smash him!" Police showed up as soon as they disappeared. A little while later one guy offered me money to have sex with him. I did my best to answer him politely. He rose to the occasion and said that as a matter of fact he just wanted to pay for a lift. In any case he didn`t. On Charring + Rd I saw a young, shitfaced lad lifting up vigorously quite a big girl. That attempted tour de force didn`t quite work. Immediately he lost his balance, fell on his back and she landed on top of him flashing her white panties. I couldn`t stop myself from laughing loudly. "What are you laughing at?!!!" I heard his drunk and angry voice from underneath her :D
I kept cruising around eating banana. A girl approached me. "Are you eating a banana?! Unbelievable! When I cycle I can never focus on anything else than cycling itself!!!" "Rickshaw has three wheels. That makes it much easier, you know?" "I am so stupid!" She suddenly exclaimed. "Why?" "I kissed my best friend and I know he fancies me! We we`ve been together to the concert of Bon Jovi. (Jon is sooooo hot!!! Don`t you think so?! Oh! It`s just out of question - he`s sooooo hot!!!) And that friend of mine wanted to kiss me and I let him!" "Did you kiss with tongues?" "YES!" "Did you enjoy it?" "Yes!" "Then what`s wrong about it?" "I don`t know... I just do so many stupid things recently..." "So who else did you kiss lately?" "Erm... No one... Well... My friend`s boss. I was pissed though. And he split with his girlfriend... but now they are back together..." I was hundred percent sure I didn`t want to kiss her. Finely she was gone to catch her bus...
My last lift was with two young bitches who kept arguing all the time. "I paid the drinks! You have to pay the man!" "K`mon I paid the entrance fee!" "And last week it was me who was paying!" "It`s the last time I go out with you!" "Don`t make a scene!" And so on, or even worse, no end! Three "holes in a wall" didn`t work. The fourth one saved me. I felt very relieved when it was over.
Was all that really full moon`s fault?