...

Night was dramatically shitty. There was absolutely nothing to be done about it. First I was going in circles to no effect at all. Then I stopped to chat with Monty for a while. Next I got a puncture. When I finally got a lift, two German lads produced £50 note by the end of it. I spent about half an hour desperately trying to change it. At least they were patient. Somehow I got another lift. Then nothing and nothing at all... Finally I decided to help a fellow rider to fix a flat tyre. It was on Cambridge Circus. Soon on my left a bunch of white chavs started to pick on some Bangladeshi riders. They tried to take away one of their rickshaws. We stopped them. Then they chose one of the smallest opponents and they were right about to beat him up. I managed to talk some sense into them only to realise that on my right some black guys were trying to pinch my trike... I rushed there. One of them was already sitting on it. Fortunately his friends were smarter than him. Together we convinced him to leave it and walk away. All that done we got back to my mate's puncture. The inner tube was too damaged. We didn't manage and he ended up walking his rickshaw back to quite a distant garage...

Jon is hot

I came out pretty late. It didn`t escape ever vigilant Amir`s notice. "Oh! You coming out THAT late again!" I quickly introduced him to people around as a true champion. He told me to shut up and was gone. Shortly afterwards I met Monty. He was as usual in trouble. A guy from a corner shop didn`t want to exchange his drink for another one, once he purchased it. That made him quite unhappy and of course he managed to get his money back but the guy told him "don`t buy here". He was thirsty though, so he gave me some change and asked me to buy that other drink for him... On Old Compton St. Hugo was, as always, fighting with preponderant forces of hustlers. He knocked flat one of them and escaped quickly. They ran after him yelling: "Smash him!" Police showed up as soon as they disappeared. A little while later one guy offered me money to have sex with him. I did my best to answer him politely. He rose to the occasion and said that as a matter of fact he just wanted to pay for a lift. In any case he didn`t. On Charring + Rd I saw a young, shitfaced lad lifting up vigorously quite a big girl. That attempted tour de force didn`t quite work. Immediately he lost his balance, fell on his back and she landed on top of him flashing her white panties. I couldn`t stop myself from laughing loudly. "What are you laughing at?!!!" I heard his drunk and angry voice from underneath her :D
I kept cruising around eating banana. A girl approached me. "Are you eating a banana?! Unbelievable! When I cycle I can never focus on anything else than cycling itself!!!" "Rickshaw has three wheels. That makes it much easier, you know?" "I am so stupid!" She suddenly exclaimed. "Why?" "I kissed my best friend and I know he fancies me! We we`ve been together to the concert of Bon Jovi. (Jon is sooooo hot!!! Don`t you think so?! Oh! It`s just out of question - he`s sooooo hot!!!) And that friend of mine wanted to kiss me and I let him!" "Did you kiss with tongues?" "YES!" "Did you enjoy it?" "Yes!" "Then what`s wrong about it?" "I don`t know... I just do so many stupid things recently..." "So who else did you kiss lately?" "Erm... No one... Well... My friend`s boss. I was pissed though. And he split with his girlfriend... but now they are back together..." I was hundred percent sure I didn`t want to kiss her. Finely she was gone to catch her bus...
My last lift was with two young bitches who kept arguing all the time. "I paid the drinks! You have to pay the man!" "K`mon I paid the entrance fee!" "And last week it was me who was paying!" "It`s the last time I go out with you!" "Don`t make a scene!" And so on, or even worse, no end! Three "holes in a wall" didn`t work. The fourth one saved me. I felt very relieved when it was over.
Was all that really full moon`s fault?

Cheeky blowjob

The nights on every Bank Holiday are always the same. Some say it's the time when all the rich people are gone abroad. Some others add that on those nights East End meets West End. Rickshaw riders from South America call them noches de pendejos. Seriously bruv, that indicates loads of fun!
On a night like this one guy on Oxford St. was arguing with his girlfriend. He clearly ran out of arguments cause he violently toppled a big, modern and sophisticated dustbin and then kept kicking phonebooths, road signs, fences and anything else he could. People in general were enjoying the show, however somebody, giggling, adviced him not to be so macho. His girlfriend though, rose to the occasion. In no time we could see her slapping his face vigorously. He really needed those caresses.
I watched the whole situation with a senior rider Monty. Afterwards he told me: "You know, Hitler was a lunatic who oftentimes went furious. It was reported that on one occasion he was bitting a carpet! That`s why people who knew about it used to call him Teppichfresser - a carpet eater!"
Two guys waved me down. One of them asked: "How much to Clapham?" The other one wanted to know where the prostitutes were. When I asked what was that they really wanted, I heard: "A cheeky blowjob!" I gave them directions to the best of my knowledge.
Dawn broke over Greek St. Popular hip-hop/r'n'b Moonlighting Nightclub was kicking out. Crowd of raving hustlers needed excitement. Somebody slapped a girl and a serious riot broke out. The fight was spectacular. An Italian girl watched them with curiosity. She reached a conclusion that sounded something like: Massa di cabri!