Follow the willy!

Women on hen nights are always a phenomenon worth seeing. No matter if it's gonna be a straight or a gay marriage the circumstances are the same corny. Cheesy and usually pink outfits accompanied by wide range of sex toys bring a peculiar vibe. A few days ago I saw some women in Soho celebrating a hen night. One of them had a large pink penis in her hand. Apparently it was a lash and any bypasser was welcome to whip her bottom up with it. There was much rejoicing. Hen nights originating from sexual revolution of the 60s and fully exercising gender equality surely could be fun. At least as long as its participants don't get too wasted...

Once, when in Granada, I saw a future bride riding a donkey (burro taxi) which actually might be a nice reminiscence of an ancient tradition.

Another night I met a large girly squad wondering through the streets of West End on a hen night mission. They seemed to be a little lost. There was a moment of confusion and then one of them rose her hand high, wielding one of those little-prick-ended sipping straws, to indicate direction and shouted: "Ladies, follow the willy!"

Let`s do some cocain!

I was going up Oxford St. and just passed Wardour St. on my left when I saw that guy. He waved me down. "How much to Manchester Sq.?" First I said "a tenner" but then I realised that there were two of them and I demanded eight quid per person. The other fellow got closer and said: "A tenner for two!" "Fifteen!" "Twelve!" "C`mon give me some more then twelve!" Finally we agreed fifteen. The one who approached me latter said something, before they even took a seat. It was too unclear to be understood. He said that again and again and finally I got it. "Get in with us for a one!" I said that it was very kind of him but I couldn`t. "C`mon, just for a one!" "I really appreciate your hospitality but I truly need to work!" Finally they were seated. On the way he kept insisting: "C`mon get in with us! I`d love to see you naked!" "I can`t do that! My girlfriend would be very upset with me!" He didn`t give up: "Oh! That doesn`t matter!" "That doesn`t matter for you cause you wouldn`t have to tell her that..." This stopped him for a little while. Not for too long though! "C`mon come with us! Just to have a drink!" We were getting close to our destination. "I`m not going to do that! I need money, therefore I need to work!" "I pay you!" "For the first time I turned around and looked at him. "I don`t like it at all, you know?!" It shut him up a bit. Finally we got to outside their place. The persistent one wanted a receipt. The other guy just thanked me and was gone. While I was looking for a receipt for him he kept talking. "Come on in! Let`s do some cocain!" "I don`t do cocain!" "Then let`s get some penis! I`ll give you a blow job!" I just burst with laughter. "C`mon don`t get mad at me!" - he carried on. "I`m not mad at you. You can say whatever you want..." "Give me a hug!" I gave him a well bear one. Quickly he kissed me on a cheek and finally follwed his mate.