Why I don't like lesbians

That night weather tricked me again. It was warm, nice and dry, so I decided to leave my canopy at the base,  moved out enthusiastically, got two-three quick lifts and soon got caught by a vehement downpour too... Fortunately I soon found a shelter, by Travelodge Hotel on High Holborn Street and Museum Street's corner. An architect who designed that hotel was so kind, that he left a recess in the ground floor's right corner. Me and my rickshaw sneaked in there neatly. If only that place could protect one, as well, from recession... In any case the rain could not diffuse through. Unfortunately lesbians could. Four of them appeared out of the blue. Even though myself being in charge of THAT particular tricycle was out of question, no one asked questions. Two of them sat quickly on it, third one took the operator's place and was clearly about to take off! The fourth one, poor creature, was simply butching around. "You snooze, you lose!" I said to myself and fearlessly stepped into trajectory! Collision was inevitable. Fortunately killing me softly with rickshaw didn't work. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" The "driver" looked me gently in the eye. Petting her was not my ambition. "It's all right. Just get off!" She did. I stepped aside. The two seated stayed. There was some smooching and boob squeezing going on. I didn't fancy a threesome, neither quartet nor quintet. Dem ladies were not exactly my type anyway ^_^. After a while two of them moved on and from some distance started to urge two remaining. Enjoying each other's company those were not in a hurry. Finally though, all of them were gone. I approached my trike and to my distress discovered that pouch on the grip rail was wide open. I had two Pret-a-manger sandwiches there. Those bitches pinched them!

This is mine! (A true object of desire)

Oxford Street was shut from Oxford Circus up to Marble Arch tube station. As usual some people waited patiently on the bus stops God knows what for. I had learnt long before that trying to persuade them made them haters. I stopped by New Bond Street. I was eating a pret-a-manger sandwich, both triangular pieces at once, for I was hungry and always liked falafel. One of the workers, hanging those winter time embellishments over Oxford Street, approached me and asked where did I get that sandwich from. I told him i brought it with me to work. He smiled with resignation and was gone. Minutes later two guys asked me to take them to Queensway. I named my price and one of them walked away immediately. The other started to haggle, demanding a lower price and... what was left of my sandwich! I gave him both. The first one watched him with astonishment, added that he himself wasn't paying a shit and finally joined him on my trike. They wanted to stop by a cashpoint. So I did. The one with the sandwich asked me to hold it for him for a while, stepped towards the hole-in-the-wall, suddenly turned around and said to his mate that they had to share the fare fifty-fifty. They started to argue and the second guy walked away again, this time for good. The one who said he was actually paying, looked at me and showing sad leftovers of what once was a delicious sandwich uttered: "This is mine!" Grabbed it and followed his mate. I wasn't able to believe it not to mention taking any action at all...