Saturday 14 July 2012

You put me in a mood

Those people who expect YOU to pay THEM as they get on your trike are my favourite customers... With no sense of shame whatsoever they proudly expose a chip on their shoulders. First of all the place they are actually going to is "just around the corner", "only two blocks away" or "only down the road". Not to mention that "something is better than nothing", "you can either take this (i.e. some petty change) or wait here in vain" or even "you should think about making your living". As if one would be able to make one's living riding around all night for two pounds seventy three pence or something... "HOW MUCH?!!! ARE YOU FOR REAL?!" "I'M A SINGLE MOTHER!"  "I'M ONLY SIXTEEN!" "K'MON BOSS! JUST PEDAL! WE'LL PAY YOU ONCE WE'RE THERE!" By the end of the day you are but a "fucking rickshaw" and very soon somebody will remind you about it. Thick skin and selectivity are the key virtues, for even if people are really equal, the equality has nothing to do with a size. And when it comes to technique... Well, technically you are supposed to pedal. Therefore big, heavy people should pay more, innit bruv?! The only problem is to set things straight... Another night, on New Oxford Street, a couple comes to me. They want to go to Old Compton Street. She's an English girl and he's a smartly dressed big black fellow. I say a fiver per person, a just price, Lord is my witness. She does't seem to mind but she looks at him first thing and I already see his scowling expression. "It's just around the corner! Let's walk!" He says. "Do it for eight pounds in total." She suggests. "Not with him." - Is my answer. Addressing the fellow I add: "Look at you! You are a RESPECTABLE gent..." With my hands I'm showing HOW respectable he actually is. I see another rickshaw coming, the girl moves towards it and I'm kind of relieved, for I can tell that the small Asian guy who rides it is so desperate that he would probably go for a fiver... The guy is still by my side though and presently he says: "I think I will slap you!" I have to say something to this so I ask quickly: "Why?" "You put me in a mood." He gives me a dirty look. I'm asking myself how tough I REALLY am. To get some more time I say: "I'm only trying to do my job..." "I'm here with a lady and you... I really should slap you!" But he doesn't. I look around. "Well, you gonna do as you like..." I'm already sensing his hesitation so I add sharply: "I CALLED YOU A RESPECTABLE GENT, RIGHT?" He agrees. "Fuck that!" He says and follows the girl. They get on the other rickshaw. Much relieved I pedal off.

2 comments:

  1. Yeah, I love riders like that. The other day a fat girl and her two friends wanted to ride 3/4 of a mile and up a steep hill for $5. I refused. Twenty minutes later I took the same ride for three people and they gave me $50. And I stopped at the bottom of the hill!

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    1. That's exactly the thing Eugene! Btw good luck with your blog!

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