Racist "joke"

On Saturday night I was watching four lads on Regent St. The guys were in their late twenties. They wanted to get a minicab and go somewhere. I guessed it was a rather distant place for they didn't seem happy at all with prices named by those Asian drivers waiting by Heddon St. They kept passing from one to another. I couldn't hear what was said but suddenly one of them stepped back from a driver he was talking with and shouted: "What?!!! £35??!!! Your father was driving an elephant, bruv!!!" Off they went...

Dutch courage

Late in the night or maybe very early in the morning Wardour St. swarms with a wild life. Tonight I just saw there those two dodgy guys discussing loudly. I heard one of them exclaiming: "You've got to decide which side you are on!!!" The same moment I saw that freaky geezer talking loudly to himself. First I couldn't make out what was he saying. Finally I got it: "I GOT NO FEAR!" Some other guy, ignoring his own girlfriend who clearly was trying to stop any verbal exchange with that nutter, shouted to him: "So you are not scared of me?" Soliloquizer stepped off a few paces: "Fear is the key, mate! I'm not scared of you while I'm walking away..." He produced a flask of whiskey, took a sip and stated: "I need some dutch courage!"

A tenner back

Once I met a couple who wanted to get from around Leicester Sq. station to around Bond St. tube. They were in their late twenties. That guy was haggling a lot. His beautiful girlfriend tried to persuade him to stop it but he was a hard nut to crack... Finally he got satisfied with a bargain and we hit the road. We got there and quite unexpectedly he gave me a big tip. Both of them looked very pleased. They told me they enjoyed the journey very much. Suddenly that woman came close to me and ordered a quick good bye kisses. I understood she wanted to kiss me on a cheek but she went straight for my lips. Before I got any time to react she smooched me and also attempted to apply some tongue action. I stepped back quickly and gave her boyfriend a nervous look. He, obviously, wasn´t too enthusiastic about it, but nevertheless, he said very quietly: "Just give us a tenner back and take her with you."