Stealing

So I'm going down Regent St. and there's that douche bag, with two girls, flagging me down. As I stop he says they want to go there and there but can only give me a tenner. I thank them politely and advise him to keep his tenner for later. Off I go. I keep going slowly down the road. By Piccadilly Circus a rickshaw passes me by. There they are, all three, and that smartass smiles at me triumphantly, nods towards that Bangladeshi rider who's carrying them and says: "You see - he went for a tenner!" "You are a tight cunt and he's just silly!" - I answer quickly. And then that Asian lad turns around, looks at me askew and asks: "Stealing?! What am I stealing?!?"

Good bum loving

That British born Asian lad appeared out of nowhere. There were two of us, me and Alex, just standing on Old Compton St. That boy was soooo high, you could tell by his eyes. He wanted to go to Victoria, then to Leicester Sq, then pretty much anywhere... The problem was that he wasn't really into paying any more than three pounds... He didn't want to fuck off either. So he was there talking bullshit, his eyes even more loquacious than himself... He looked possessed. "I'm scared of you!" I told him. "You are a demon!" "What?! Me a demon!? Look at your earrings! 666!" He started a sophisticated solo on his air guitar. "Sweet Jesus!" - Was my answer. "Fuck Jesus" - He exclaimed. "I'm not gay!" "What!? I'll give a good bum loving!" - He assured me moving his hips back and forth energetically. "Where are you from?" - He asked all of the sudden. - "Are you Hungarian?" He started to utter some basic, bullshit words in Magyar, visibly proud of himself. Alex tried to talk some sense into guy, to no effect though. Lad looked at him at asked: "Where are you from?" "He's a Hungarian too." - I answered quickly. He started to repeat same bullshit as before... Some people wanted directions, asked for a price of a lift. We named it. He pried abruptly: "No! NO!!! It's three pounds! Don't pay any more than three pounds!!!" It was too much. I pedalled off...

Healing prayers

Late at night one can see an Asian woman around Old Compton St. Is she a spooky K-Horror female ghost or a Yūrei? Maybe! However she seems quite alive and rather interested in money. She holds a notepad and a sheet attached to it says "Healing prayers". "I'm a Christian." - She explains. - "I used to be an alcoholic but God helped me and now I want to help other people. As anybody else I expect a reward for doing my job." She has a strong accent but nevertheless her English is quite good. Thus for just a little consideration we can get blessed and our burden can get alleviated. Alternatively one can set oneself free by offering her some healing chocolate coated raisins. After an instant of indecision she will probably partake them with a smile. No healing prayer will be bestowed upon thou, though.