Lost

I had a lift to Euston station. As I was about to get back to West End a young Russian lad came to me and said: "Wardour Street, can you do it?! How long?" I told him it would probably take about 10 minutes and he was in. He was in a hurry but still acted very politely. He kept talking with some girl on his phone and soon I realised she was waiting for him somewhere on the street, that's why he was in so much rush. I was pushing on hard. After a while he understood something. "Listen! Where did you pick me up from?" "Euston Station, why?" "You know, I left that club on Wardour Street, in Soho, and I got lost. I walked on and on. I ended up where you picked me up from.. Were I going in circles by any chance?" "Well... Kind of..." - I told him. He asked me to stop by a cash point. He was very grateful and he proved it giving me much more money than I expected. Finally I got him to Wardour Street. The girl waiting for him was very fit. He thanked me again and ran straight to her. It seemed to me that she was slightly annoyed...

Hot cash

A rickshaw stopped in front of me. Two girls jumped off and started to run away without paying the rider. They split and one of them was silly enough to escape my way. I quickly got off my trike, grabbed the wench, lifted her up and carried back. She was very young and cute. The rider who brought them managed to stop the other one. She was a nasty butch dyke. "Let me go! I will pay!" - exclaimed my captive. I lowered her on the ground. She looked at me with admiration: "Wooooow! You are soooo strong!" The other one hearing this gave me a murderous look. "Come here!" The gal took me by my hand and started to push it down her panties. "What the hell are you doing?!!!" - I asked trying to set myself free and nervously looking around. "Oh K'mon!!! I said I was paying! Don't worry! Just put your hand down there..." - she said in such a straightforward manner that I basically followed her instructions. I touched her short cropped pubic her, reached deeper and right by her pussy I found a little wad of notes... "Have you got it? Now give it to me..." - said that Succubus. She paid the man and passed me her phone number, as well. Her lesbian companion was watching me with hate, dangerously close to explode...

Natural perversity of inanimate objects

On Dean St., right by Soho Theater a guy was talking to a cash machine. It lasted a good while. Merciless machine clearly decided that there was no point in condescending and remained silent. Thus ignored man shouted angrily: "Okay then! Keep your fucking money! Can't you spare me even one fucking pound?" Again machine didn't reply.

Theatrical

Around quarter past 4am streets were empty. On my way back to base I followed Shaftesbury Ave until I got to New Oxford St. Then I had to stop in red light. There was a guy standing by and I saw another one approaching, while checking something in his mobile. When the one with mobile got closer the first showed him some leaflet and uttered: "Excuse me sir, have you been to this nightclub?" The other one just ignored him. "Excuse me sir, have you been to this nightclub?" - he repeated intrusively, that leaflet in his extended hand. This time the intruded grabbed leaflet from intruder's palm and slapped him forehand with it. They burst into laughter and walked away together. I laughed as well in appreciation for the show. Suddenly "the intruded" turned round and shouted in my direction: "Is there any kebab shop around here?" "Sure! There's one by Leicester Sq. station!" "AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" - he laughed loudly and pointed me out with his finger - "NICE TRY!!!" Off they went.

Thirteen hundred

A guy approached me on New Oxford Street asking about Holborn tube station. I offered him a lift but he wasn't interested. I gave him directions. "Take care!" - I added. He moved like if he was about to walk away. Suddenly he turned around and said: "Can I tell you a story?" I was all ears.
"I fucked up. On Wednesday I'm flying to Venice with my girlfriend. Yesterday I got paid. I went to casino and I spent all my money there. Thirteen hundred. I don't know what to do now. My girlfriend arrives today. She already exchanged all her money to euros. I was supposed to give her £400... I fucked up mate... I just fucked up big time..." We looked at each other and we laughed. "You know?" - said I - "I write a blog. This is a great story and I'm gonna put it there!" "What you think I should do?" - he asked. "Does your girlfriend know about it?" "Not yet..." "Well then, just laugh now, what else can you do...?" "Well I'm laughing now, but this is real... Tomorrow you will probably read in a newspaper about some guy who jumped off a rooftop and it will be me..." He looked at me with hope - "Would you take me to the station now?"

This is mine! (A true object of desire)

Oxford Street was shut from Oxford Circus up to Marble Arch tube station. As usual some people waited patiently on the bus stops God knows what for. I had learnt long before that trying to persuade them made them haters. I stopped by New Bond Street. I was eating a pret-a-manger sandwich, both triangular pieces at once, for I was hungry and always liked falafel. One of the workers, hanging those winter time embellishments over Oxford Street, approached me and asked where did I get that sandwich from. I told him i brought it with me to work. He smiled with resignation and was gone. Minutes later two guys asked me to take them to Queensway. I named my price and one of them walked away immediately. The other started to haggle, demanding a lower price and... what was left of my sandwich! I gave him both. The first one watched him with astonishment, added that he himself wasn't paying a shit and finally joined him on my trike. They wanted to stop by a cashpoint. So I did. The one with the sandwich asked me to hold it for him for a while, stepped towards the hole-in-the-wall, suddenly turned around and said to his mate that they had to share the fare fifty-fifty. They started to argue and the second guy walked away again, this time for good. The one who said he was actually paying, looked at me and showing sad leftovers of what once was a delicious sandwich uttered: "This is mine!" Grabbed it and followed his mate. I wasn't able to believe it not to mention taking any action at all...

How your pride makes you poor

I took those three girls to that trendy club. We agreed the price, it was £6 per person. When we got there one of them passed me £25, in front of the other two . Pleasantly surprised I accepted the money. Still hesitating, with the money in my hand, I gave her an incredulous look and asked: "Is it for me?" She said "Yes" and I pocketed the notes, very pleased. The girls where gone and I just stayed there for a little while, straightening the blanket on passenger's seat etc. As I was about to move on I realised that two of those girls were actually standing next to me again. "We gave you too much money. It was a mistake." I couldn't fucking believe it. "First of all it wasn't you who paid me, and secondly, beyond any doubt the money was given to me. The whole amount. I double checked." "We made a mistake counting. Plus that money was ours as well. We shared the payment." "Well, is it my problem?" They were calling the girl who paid me to join them but she didn't want to come over. Finally the one who started all that mess said that clearly I wanted to rip them off. It was a bit too much. "Who am I?" - that question appeared inside my head - "Am I desperate to keep that bitch's money?!?" I got £20 from my pocket."You know what?" - I said loudly and stuck the note in her hand - "FUCK OFF!" I drove off and got next lift immediately.